Between the raindrops
by xXHeartUnderFireXx
Summary: Forgiving is not easy, but it's worth it when the one that you love surprises you in an unexpected an unimaginable way. Cosima's feelings are on the fine line between love and hate. Will she cross the line and give love a second chance? [Post finale, one-shot]


Hello everyone and thank you for stopping by! This is my first Orphan Black story and I've been working on it for a great amount of time. Excuse my mistakes and errors. Neither English, nor French is my mother tongue and I'm not a doctor/scientist (yet). I'm just a fan girl with too much imagination and a deep passion for writing. Enjoy and don't forget to tell me your opinion on this story. It would mean a lot.

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Orphan Black.**

**Between the raindrops**

"Walking between the raindrops

Riding the aftershock beside you

Off into the sunset

Living like there's nothing left to lose

Chasing after gold mines

Crossing the fine lines we knew

Hold on and take a breath

I'll be here every step

Walking between the raindrops with you"

...

Wiping her tears away, Cosima broke the embrace, still craving for Delphine's soft and calming touch, but very much aware of the consequences of their intimacy. Delphine looked at her with confusion, her own doe like eyes puffy and reddened. Trying to reassure her that her intensions were purely sincere, the blonde woman leaned in to kiss the brunette's lips slowly. However, Delphine's attempt failed as Cosima had immediately figured out what she was going to do and stood up from the couch, her eyes searching for something unknown, for an escape.

"Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas?" Delphine asked her and tried to grab Cosima's hand, but she failed for the second time, as Cosima had taken a few steps towards the door.

She didn't stop only when inches separated her from the heavy metallic door. Then, she turned her face towards the French woman, her eyebrows raised as a form of misunderstanding. "I don't speak French, Delphine".

"I know. Sorry", Delphine apologized guiltily as she stood up as well. She swallowed heavily, finding her courage to speak again. "What's wrong?" she asked, moving closer to Cosima.

"I'm dying Delphine. It's nothing wrong", she said ironically and went back to the couch. Absentmindedly, she turned off her laptop and arranged her clothes, ignoring Delphine's presence entirely. Her whole body started shaking and her heart threatened to explode in her chest. She took of her glasses and stared at them for a few seconds. Then she threw them forcefully in the column behind the couch, pulling down a few of Felix's paintings. This time she looked at Delphine, who was still standing in the same spot, her expression one of petrified shock.

"You're not…dying. I won't let that happen", she finally said now that Cosima's attention was finally concentrated towards her again.

Cosima started biting her lower lip and felt her eyes being filled with tears again. There were way too many things happening right then, way too many feelings bursting out and she needed to be alone, even if she wanted so badly to be near Delphine, kiss her and hold her tight till the end of her days on Earth. She also needed to figure a couple of things out on her own, like she always did. Besides, Delphine didn't deserve to be a witness of her developing madness.

She removed the tears from her eyes and went to grab her coat, leaving her glasses where they were. As soon as she was done buttoning it, she went to the door, avoiding looking into Delphine's eyes, afraid that they could make her change her mind.

"Where are you going?" the blonde woman asked and grabbed her both arms, holding her in place.

"Out", Cosima answered quickly and tried to escape.

Delphine let her go and watched her pitifully as she struggled to open the door. "At least, you could let me help you", Delphine offered and opened the door for the shorter woman. It was strange that even if they knew each other for such a small amount of time, Delphine read her like an open book and realised Cosima needed to be on her own.

Without even saying "thank you", Cosima left the loft and started running down the steps, tears streaming heavily down her face, making her view even blurrier than it was.

As soon as she was on the street, she looked one last time at the graffiti painted building and then started walking, with no direction in mind and got lost once again in her own overwhelming avalanche of thoughts.

Scott had told her that the test for respiratory diseases came out negative and since no symptoms had occurred until then, she thought she was healthy. There was one thing she took for granted, though. Even if the genetic test came out negative, that didn't completely eliminate the chances of having a CF mutation. And if she did have cystic fibrosis as she assumed, what was her life expectancy? One year, two if she was lucky?

There was no cure for CF, except for different treatments that could alleviate some of the symptoms, so she was basically on the death list. To say she was scared that she was going to die, however, would be a huge misunderstanding. She was nervous and quite desperate. She had so many plans and there was such little time left for her. Delphine made a promise that she was going to figure something out and only knowing that, even if it was hopelessly, made her feel 10 times better.

Moreover, she still couldn't process the words that showed up on her laptop screen after she broke the code: "This organism and derivative genetic material is restricted intellectual property". How could they be the property of the Dyad Institute? Since when were humans being patented? But for Leekie and people like Rachel Duncan they weren't humans; they were simply the result of an experiment. And the saddest part of this wasn't the fact that they were considered products, but the fact that the Government had no idea that human cloning was entirely possible, as illegal as it was. Or did they?

At one point, Cosima's thoughts were interrupted by the sudden change in weather. The wind started blowing heavily and a few drops of rain started pouring from the night sky.

_Shit_.

However, she decided to continue her walk and ignore the rain that threatened to destroy her coat. There was no one outside at that hour and for the first time she started to realise that she shouldn't have left Felix's loft or at least she should've taken her glasses with her, since the hit didn't break them, luckily. Not only was she starting to feel cold now that the rain was falling heavier from the sky, but she was half blind as well, due to her myopia. She should've had the Lasik surgery a long time ago. But apparently she was really good at leaving over important things, like not going to a specialist to have a genetic test as well as a sputum culture test or a sinus x-ray for the right diagnose.

Cosima wasn't the person who would wonder "what if". She was spontaneous and it didn't take her long to decide upon a certain thing and for the first time in her 29 years she started to change, to analyse things longer and wonder "what if". What if she had discovered the disease earlier? What if she could have increased her life expectancy? What if she could have had a chance for a life with Delphine?

She smiled sadly as her name showed up again in her mind. Maybe she was afraid after all. Not because death was so near her, but because losing Delphine, who admitted to be on her side, was unimaginable. Of course, she didn't forgive her entirely for what she had done, but something told her that her feelings were true since the beginning. It was a thing she couldn't explain, but every time she was near her, her heart started beating faster and her breath grew heavier. Delphine's presence was magnetic, electric and mesmerizing, all in one and trying to ignore her feelings towards the blonde was basically impossible.

Nobody knew that, but deep inside, she was a romantic. Whenever she met someone, when asked whether she was married or not, her answer was always the same: "Married to the science". Most of them were so freaked out by her natural answer that didn't even invite her on a date and that's why she decided to focus her attention on her work. Because of this reason, most people believed she was a loner.

At some point she started shaking because her wet clothes started binding her skin. She considered hiding under a roof or under a tree since it wasn't flashing yet. She couldn't even take a step in the direction of a near closed café with a roof as she started to cough for the third time since she got out from the bus. Fortunately, the coughing wasn't as intense as the second time. She didn't need to look at her hands to see that they were covered in blood and instead she held out her arms so the rain could wash it all away. The scientist closed her eyes and felt the raindrops falling on her eyelids. If she wasn't freezing, she could have said it was calming. Immediately, her mind flew somewhere else again. It was the day she woke up feeling Delphine's curly locks tickling her eyelids unintentionally. Suddenly she didn't feel the rain falling on her face anymore and it was strange since she still heard very well how the raindrops were falling on the asphalt. Then, she opened her eyes and stared surprised at the person holding an umbrella for her.

"Delphine…what…" she tried to speak, but failed in forming a full sentence.

"I went to buy some Eskimo pie. Thought you might be hungry when you got back", Delphine started and smiled at the brunette with still a very much shocked expression on her face.

"Eskimo pie?" she asked, her surprise replaced with disbelief.

"I did buy Eskimo pie", she said truthfully. "But that's not the main reason I'm outside at this late hour. I was afraid that you might get a cold", she admitted and handed Cosima the umbrella, her purse and the shopping bag she was holding. Then, she took of her jacket, revealing a purple sweater, which Cosima recognized immediately.

"Why are you taking off your jacket? And why in the world are you wearing my sweater?" she asked her with a fake louring expression.

"So that you can take off yours."

Cosima handed her the items she was holding and took off her red coat as Delphine suggested. Then, she thankfully put on Delphine's jacket and was again surprised to see that it fitted her perfectly.

"Thanks", she said with sincerity, folding her wet coat and taking the umbrella in her arm. "And by the way, my sweater looks kinda hot on you. I never would've thought".

Delphine laughed and then rolled her eyes, amused. "You might be wrong, since you threw your glasses to the wall", she reminded her playfully.

"About that…"

"Here", Delphine said, fishing out Cosima's glasses from her purse and arranging them on her nose.

"It's good to not be blind, anymore", she tried to hide her surprise in a joke. "And you are still very hot".

"I may be hot, but you're still cold", she responded full of caring, choosing a play on words to refer to Cosima's shaking wet body. "Let's go", she said, wrapping her free arm around her shoulders.

"Not so quickly", Cosima said back, pulling her arm away.

"Do you want to eat Eskimo pie when it's still frozen or not?" Delphine retorted.

"That's not what I meant", Cosima said and threw away her already destroyed coat, which landed on a puddle. Then, she moved closer to Delphine and planted a strong kiss on her lips.

The blonde woman didn't return the kiss, as she was taken away by her lover's spontaneity, but when she got herself together, she discarded the things she was holding and kissed Cosima with so much strength that the brunette dropped the umbrella. As they felt the water falling on them, they pulled apart and started laughing.

"I've never kissed anyone in the rain before", Delphine admitted, caressing Cosima's chin.

"Yeah, it showed".

Delphine realised it was meant as a joke this time and hit her playfully in the shoulder. Seeing Cosima so happy it filled her heart with joy on one side and pain on the other side. Before she left, she decided to check Cosima's laptop and see if there were any clues regarding the illness she was referring to and checking her browsing history she found answers to all of her questions. She felt so guilty then for promising Cosima a non-existent cure. However, as she was searching for the Eskimo pies in the supermarket she realised there was a chance, even a small one that Cosima might have been wrong and she could be saved.

She didn't want to break the magic of the moment, but she needed to get those words out of her mind. "There's no way I'm letting you go. I'm going to find a cure for you no matter what disease you have. You won't die, Cosima", she promised and took the brunette's hand into hers, their fingers now interlocked.

"Why?" Cosima asked, taken aback by Delphine's sudden change of mood and not realising what she was asking.

"Pourquoi je t'aime", she confessed with candor and saw Cosima's mouth open widely in pure shock.

"There's no way I'm saying it in French, too", Cosima retorted, finally recovering her voice as well as her breath.

"So you do understand a little French, don't you?" she teased Cosima, breaking the awkward silence that formed between them.

Remembering how she woke up that morning, angry at herself for dreaming about Delphine, like she did every night since they've met, everything felt surreal. She crossed the line between love and hate so easily, so naturally. And here she was now, fighting the urge to open her heart and make a statement that would change everything. "Je t'aime", she finally confessed, truly, her accent sounding perfect.

"You sounded so…French", Delphine said, deciding to hide her guilt and atonement by congratulating Cosima on her accomplishment. And she could swear she had never felt happier in her life. Cosima's confession also meant that she forgave her. However, Delphine knew all too well that her only redemption was saving her.

"I practised. Allons-y!" she told Delphine, bringing her back to reality.

"C'ést tres bien, ma chérie", Delphine congratulated her and bent down to take her purse and the bag.

Cosima lifted the umbrella from the ground and intertwined her fingers with Delphine's again. Soon, they started walking, or better said, running to the loft, as they were both freezing.

As soon as they changed their clothes, Cosima and Delphine went to book a room at a near hotel, needing some alone time. On the road to the hotel they stopped once again at the supermarket to buy some new Eskimo pies, as the ones that Delphine bought were way too melted when they finally arrived.

The couple spent the rest of the night cuddled up in bed, eating Eskimo pies and watching re-runs of Hannibal, one of Cosima's guilty pleasures which Delphine found kind of creepy but decided to give it a try for her lover's sake.

"Have you seen that? Glad I've already finished my Eskimo pie", Cosima commented to Hannibal Lecter's disgusting meal, her eyes focused on the screen.

When no reply came from Delphine, she looked at the now sleeping woman, resting on her shoulder. She removed a few of blonde locks from her face and then kissed her forehead, smiling. Cosima moved Delphine softly so her head was no resting on the pillow. She stood up from the bed and went to turn off the light, when fingers caught her wrist.

"Where are you going, ma chérie?" Delphine asked sleepily, her eyes half-closed, sounding more adorable than Cosima has ever imagined.

"Nowhere, babe. I'm just turning off the light."

Soon, they were under the blanket, legs interlacing, breaths synchronized. Cosima didn't sleep very much that night, but not because she felt guilty for accepting Delphine in her life, but because her reality was finally better than her dreams. She didn't care anymore that she was sick, because as long as she had her in her life, she knew that things would work out somehow. Moreover, as she was watching Delphine sleep and smile unconsciously due to a dream, Cosima also came to the conclusion that science didn't occupy the first place in her heart anymore and there was anything she could do about it. C'ést la vie.

...

"There's a smile on my face

Knowing that together everything that's in our way

We're better than alright"

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If anybody was wondering, I'm watching Hannibal, too and I can also imagine Cosima watching it.

Anyway, I hope you liked my story. Thank you for spending your time reading it.

-Caroline.


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